Business Success, Business Shame, and Moving On

So... it turns out I'm embarrassed. I feel ashamed even.

And it has been stopping me from talking about what I do and why.

Last night I attended a session with Jess Nicks about reconnecting with your mojo, and it was more incredible than I could have imagined (please check her out if you want to know more). And it helped me to make the big realisation that I am embarrassed, and somewhat ashamed of my journey to where I am now.

So it's time to talk about it.

I qualified as a Chartered Accountant working in practice, but the life of an auditor wasn't for me. I was drawn to helping with the graduate training in-house, and then moved to BPP to become a full time tutor.

I was lucky enough to be involved in the launch of online courses way back in 2009, then to look after ACCA and then international markets and got involved in supporting the creation of a centre of excellence in Malaysia.

I got good at not just teaching, but being resourceful, managing others, asking questions and good old project management.

Then I moved to the Caribbean (I mean, who wouldn't?) and had the opportunity to focus once again on teaching and deliver a wider range of programmes, expanding my own knowledge in the process.

I had to get better at being resourceful, at backing myself, challenging the status quo (I'll always ask questions) but also about starting to chase your dreams.

So I moved halfway across the world (again), and this is where I want to go quiet.

I set up an indoor cycling studio (Chateau Velo) with cafe, and worked very very hard for 2.5 years. I dabbled with fitness accountability coaching. Creating and building the studio and cafe was a very expensive adventure so I also set up my accounting practice alongside this so I could pay the rent.

And long story short? The studio didn't work out. I had to make the heartbreaking decision to close the studio earlier this year.

And it felt, and feels, like a failure.

I mean - I'm a qualified accountant - couldn't I have predicted it? Done something differently?

Isn't closing it a sign that I'm a rubbish accountant, or at least that I'm certainly not a DaM Good one??

I've had to sit with this, and I still am sitting with it. It's uncomfortable.

But, it's ok.

Being an accountant allowed me to look at the numbers and see it wasn't working. You can be hopeful - your head and your heart will battle out many business decisions and I believe that a business is more than just numbers, but for the studio there was a point of no return.

Financially and energetically I had to assess the ins and outs and ups and downs, and make a decision. My background and experience helped me to be confident in the decision I was making.

It didn't make it any easier.

I still felt like I was letting people down.

Like I was a failure.

But I am not my business.

There is heart and soul that gets poured into small businesses by their founders and creators - that is what makes them so special.

But they are not you.

And in teaching I say that a FAIL is just a First Attempt In Learning. Running a business in practice is very different to the theory.

Businesses with premises and people and things are even harder. And I underestimated it. Despite my knowledge and experience and seeing other businesses, I underestimated it.

The basic concept of 'increase revenue, cut costs' - well, it's not that simple.

Businesses are more than numbers. They are the blood, sweat and tears of the founders. Their heart and soul. Their energy.

And there are decisions to be made that aren't just about looking at the bottom line.

I still believe in heart led business. That business can be good, for good and do good.

That things like connection and community are important.

And I am now focusing on my accounting practice - and I bring that insight and experience to make me a better advisor, advocate and general cheerleader for small businesses.

Helping you build a DaM Good Business™, one DaM thing at a time.